First Days at a New Job

The kids and I have been rewatching episodes of a t.v. show where the mom got a new job, really without discussing it with the rest of the family – discussing it, but not really listening to the concerns of all involved…. The other day, I was talking to a friend about her new job, and the way the people at home still expected her to be available at all hours of the day, even when she was scheduled to work. So, we wanted to take a moment to discuss some important first days events and preparation.

10 More Minutes, Mom!

10 More Minutes, Mom!

The alarm goes off and you hit the snooze button, maybe hoping for ten more minutes. You programmed your coffee maker the night before, or you’ve already alotted time for a quick coffee stop on the way in to work. In a perfect world, you laid out your work clothes the night before, you take a perfect 15-minute shower (quicker if you can), your curling iron or blow-dryer is all ready to go for your hair, your makeup technique takes you no more than 15 minutes, and you can be out the door in 45 minutes from the time you jump in the shower to the time you leave for work.

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Getting Ready

If you’re a guy, you do the normal guy things, and still have plenty of time to get to work. You filled your car’s gas tank and don’t need to worry about being late for work due to stopping for fuel (remembering that you’ve already factored in grabbing a quick coffee). Knowing how frustrating traffic can be with seemingly everyone headed to work at the same exact time in the same exact direction, you leave a few minutes earlier for added travel time. It goes great! You get to work, sign in at the desk or punch your timecard, whatever your first day demands are, and you report for duty. Yay, you!

 

 

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Having Arrived

Now that you’ve arrived, you want to settle in – but what is the best way to do that? Do you greet people or wait for them to come greet you? Are you shy, and wait to see who the “leader” is, or do you take initiative and introduce yourself all around? Do you take a moment to appreciate your new work environment? Or do you dive right in, getting busy with whatever there is to do?

What kind of language do you use? Are you polite to your colleagues? Your customers? Do you respect yourself and others?

Getting a new job can be exciting, but also wearying. It can be physically and mentally draining. Are you prepared? Have you psyched yourself up? Are you ready for the hours you’ve committed to work – whether full-time, part-time, or seasonal? Are you going to give of yourself or are you going to take advantage of new people who don’t know you or what to expect from you? It’s okay to ask for help, to ask for instruction. In fact, one of the things we do here at LYDIA, Inc. is match clients with peer mentors. But. Tricking or otherwise manipulating other people into doing your work for you is not very responsible. It falls under “fraud” and can cause problems in the future – when you’re asked to complete a task or develop a program and you have no idea how to finish the job.

See, each choice we make has consequences. If we take a job and promise to commit then we fail to perform, it results in job loss. If we take a job and haven’t prepared ourselves, our families, or even our friends, it results in animosity, loss of friendship, and can even cause a loss of trust from others in you. This loss can cause a breakdown of community. What steps can you take to strengthen those relationships now instead of leaving them to weaken and eventually break? (Not taking the job is always an option, but weigh the pros and cons against your responsibilities here.)

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Ties that Bind

Another part of getting ready for a new job is to prepare your friends and/or family. Talk it over with them. Discuss your hours. If you’re able, discuss your job requirements or duties. Talk about the impact this new job will have on your “normal” life. Will you still be available to run errands, drop everything and take the kids to the doctor’s? Will you contribute to the house, or eating out, or putting gas in the car (if you have roommates or if you share transportation responsibilities)? What will the people still at home be expected to do? How will your new job change the expectations on you?

The things we give up in order to do another thing we want to do is called opportunity cost. Sometimes, this means giving up time with friends and family for our jobs, or our hobbies. Sometimes, it means choosing friends and family over the job – a new promotion, better pay, and more hours at work to take you away from your families. Sometimes, it means there are some really great things to do, activities to enjoy, and all these choices require a decision. So then you must choose – what you don’t choose is the cost of your current opportunity.

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Pick a Card, Any Card

Remember, the job is a great thing to have. It’s an accomplishment. So is strengthening your relationships. So make sure that not only are you ready for the first days of your new job, but so is everyone else important to you. And congratulations on getting a new job. We wish you the best and we’re here to answer any questions you might have.

 

 

A Support Your Community Activity

Last minute notice*:

This Saturday, July 30th, 11 a.m. – 2 p.m., we are gathering school supplies for recipients of St. Elizabeth Shelter’s Casa Familia. Donations can be dropped off at LYDIA, Inc.

The program manager has requested that we provide clean/brand new underwear, water bottles, backpacks/bookbags, and uniform shirts – for anyone who is able to do so. Otherwise, our request is that when you are out shopping, please pick up one or two extra items and drop them off with us. If your children need it, so do the children at St. Elizabeth Shelter’s Casa Familia. Continue Reading →

Loving Your Partner

Recently, a client asked me “How can I love my partner better?”

That’s one of the best questions we can ever ask ourselves and our partners.

Let’s start by looking at it this way. You are already well on your way by simply asking. There are multiple resources available. We’ve already briefly mentioned some of my favorites: Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages; Dr. Emerson Eggerichs Love and Respect; and even the Prepare-Enrich program hit my top list. Then there are books available on increasing intimacy, such as  Dr. Kevin Leman’s Sheet Music. Continue Reading →

How Can We Help?

Welcome back, dear readers. We are still working on getting our website up and running, developing our programs, and establishing community here in Santa Fe.

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In developing our programs, our director, Emma Shows, is training as a life coach. Our marketing director, David Commini, is learning more about marketing and pushing our organization through multiple social media platforms (Pinterest, Google+, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and more). As part of our learning, we were asked what our system of services and delivery might look like to our clients.
So, here they are in paragraph form. Continue Reading →

Give-Away: Prepare Enrich Couples Relationship Strengths Assessment

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We’re hosting a giveaway for 2 free couples’ relationship strengths assessments. Interested parties can comment on our Facebook page at LYDIA, Inc. For more information on the Prepare-Enrich program, visit Prepare-Enrich.
The assessments are free, and our suggested session fee is $35 each. Sessions packages are 6-10 weeks, 10-12 weeks, and 12-15 weeks. Prepare Enrich can be used as a marriage readiness course, a simple “how are we doing gauge”, a marriage and family assessment, and a look at the blending of two families (step-family readiness).

Enter now, don’t delay. Winners will be notified via Facebook PM on 11/16/2015.

Busy-ness

We have been very busy the past few weeks, moving the household, arranging our furniture, and getting back on track with our schedules.

Routines are very important, not just for the children but for yourselves. With a “fluid” routine, you know what’s coming up for the day – what to expect – and what you need to prepare for those activities. You know that you’ll eat 3 large, or 5-6 small meals a day. You know there’s after school activities, or what time you’ll be home from work. You know what time you’ll most likely sleep and what time you awaken each day.
You know the stressors you’ll face, and you know how to overcome them (if you don’t, give us a call. We’ll help you find answers).

Being fluid is also important. Not flexible – as someone once explained to me, flexible = a breaking point. Fluid bends, flows, wraps around and pushes through whatever it faces. Water – liquid/fluid – can cut through stone. It can carry so much weight – imagine being in a pool, or at the beach, and floating on your back. Fluid. Being fluid means that you realize there will be unexpected events, things you have to face that you may not be fully prepared for – and face them anyway.

Sure, there’s some change. Some growth. This is a good thing. It can be scary, at times, and we hesitate to face these new things, these slight interruptions to our routines. But we can learn to welcome them, to embrace the good ones and learn from the irritating interruptions. We learn to be fluid. We learn to let go of these stressors and to embrace all that life brings. We stand in the midst of the storm – the confusion, the doubt, the fear – and we are the peace. We teach our children, our families, even our friends to be fluid. Be fluid. Be at peace.

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Parenting Class: Basics for Parenting

Parenting Skills Class
***DISCLAIMER***
The following information is free for use and compiled from many sources. Some of these sites and videos link to youtube. While we will do our utmost to ensure the links are active and non-offensive, please be advised to click on links or embedded objects with caution. Ms. Shows is a certified facilitator of the Prepare-Enrich Program, one of the resources utilized. Anyone interested in the P/E program may send an email requesting more information to Ms. Shows at eshows@summitintl.org.

There are many stressors involved with parenting: work and school conflicts, unexpected and/or chronic illnesses, finances, changing family dynamics… even the daily grind can affect the entire family, wearing away little-by-little at each individual. We’re going to address these stressors, behaviors that need addressing from both the parent and the child, and we’re going to discuss the parent’s responsibility to look at child-raising as more than just another job. Our hope is to help you, the parent, engage and connect with your child(ren). So grab a piece of paper (a notebook or a printer and a ream of paper) and a pen, curl up with a good cup of tea or coffee and your computer, and let’s get to work.

Continue Reading →